Louisa (miserable): Mrs Jamboree dumped my first article from the Gazette
Jack: The one about lowering English standards?
Louisa: I spent so long working on it too, and now they’re just gonna bury it cos they didn’t like me criticising the school
Jack: Did she even give an excuse?
Louisa: Yeah, some bullshit about how I was using too many three-syllable words
Bus XCV
Scott: I hope Jack’s okay
Louisa: They’re doing tests, but the doctor seemed to think it was just exhaustion. He’s staying home for a few days to rest.
Scott: Maybe it was the fumes
Louisa: Fumes?
Scott: From the bus
Louisa: Aren’t the fumes usually pumped out the back?
Scott: That’s what they tell you, but my grandma always wore a gas-mask on the bus so they couldn’t get to her. I figured they’d never target kids, but maybe it’s time we started wearing gas-masks too.
Louisa: Yeah, I might do that. Have you thought about taking a few days off yourself? With all this vigilance, I think you've earned it.
Louisa: They’re doing tests, but the doctor seemed to think it was just exhaustion. He’s staying home for a few days to rest.
Scott: Maybe it was the fumes
Louisa: Fumes?
Scott: From the bus
Louisa: Aren’t the fumes usually pumped out the back?
Scott: That’s what they tell you, but my grandma always wore a gas-mask on the bus so they couldn’t get to her. I figured they’d never target kids, but maybe it’s time we started wearing gas-masks too.
Louisa: Yeah, I might do that. Have you thought about taking a few days off yourself? With all this vigilance, I think you've earned it.
Bus XCIV
Jack: I hate it when people interrupt me
Louisa: Do you think I should get a bouncy castle for my birthday party?
Jack: Not crazy about being ignored either
Louisa: I love bouncy castles
Jack: Can I finish my thought please? I was leading up to an anecdote.
Louisa: Did I ever tell you about Lorrie Blackman? She had the best bouncy castle. I still dream about it sometimes.
Jack: Aren’t we getting a little old for bouncy castles?
Louisa: Who says you’ll be invited?
Jack: Because if I’m not, it’ll just be you, Scott, and that girl you sit next to in Physics
Louisa: Maybe I’ll keep the bouncy castle all to myself
Jack: It’ll barely bounce if you’re the only person on it
Louisa: Then I’ll hire people to pretend to be my friends and bounce on it
Jack: Go ahead and do that
Louisa: If I do, it won’t be cos you gave me permission
Jack: Fine, whatever. Now, what was I saying before?
Louisa shrugs
Jack: Oh yeah, I hate it when people interr---
Louisa: Do you think I should get a bouncy castle for my birthday party?
Jack: Not crazy about being ignored either
Louisa: I love bouncy castles
Jack: Can I finish my thought please? I was leading up to an anecdote.
Louisa: Did I ever tell you about Lorrie Blackman? She had the best bouncy castle. I still dream about it sometimes.
Jack: Aren’t we getting a little old for bouncy castles?
Louisa: Who says you’ll be invited?
Jack: Because if I’m not, it’ll just be you, Scott, and that girl you sit next to in Physics
Louisa: Maybe I’ll keep the bouncy castle all to myself
Jack: It’ll barely bounce if you’re the only person on it
Louisa: Then I’ll hire people to pretend to be my friends and bounce on it
Jack: Go ahead and do that
Louisa: If I do, it won’t be cos you gave me permission
Jack: Fine, whatever. Now, what was I saying before?
Louisa shrugs
Jack: Oh yeah, I hate it when people interr---
Bus XCIII
Louisa: I just got a job
Scott: Really?
Louisa: Well, not a real job...but I’m gonna be writing some articles for the School Gazette. Miss Daniels recommended me.
Jack: Waste of time
Louisa: At least I can put it on my CV. Employers care about that stuff.
Jack: So what? Shouldn’t school be about something more than just training people for work? When did everyone become so obsessed with jobs?
Louisa: Round about the time there weren’t any left. You should think about doing some extra-curricular activities yourself.
Jack: Why would I bother?
Louisa: Helps you stand out from the crowd
Jack: I never consented to be part of any crowd
Louisa: Nobody consents to be born. Doesn’t change the way things are.
Jack: I like to think I can withhold consent to my birth, in principle, by not consenting to anyone else’s
Louisa: Thank God you aren’t writing for the Gazette. Half the school would be on anti-depressants.
Scott: Really?
Louisa: Well, not a real job...but I’m gonna be writing some articles for the School Gazette. Miss Daniels recommended me.
Jack: Waste of time
Louisa: At least I can put it on my CV. Employers care about that stuff.
Jack: So what? Shouldn’t school be about something more than just training people for work? When did everyone become so obsessed with jobs?
Louisa: Round about the time there weren’t any left. You should think about doing some extra-curricular activities yourself.
Jack: Why would I bother?
Louisa: Helps you stand out from the crowd
Jack: I never consented to be part of any crowd
Louisa: Nobody consents to be born. Doesn’t change the way things are.
Jack: I like to think I can withhold consent to my birth, in principle, by not consenting to anyone else’s
Louisa: Thank God you aren’t writing for the Gazette. Half the school would be on anti-depressants.
Bus XCII
Louisa: Hi
Jack: Do you ever feel like we’re devaluing words through overuse?
Louisa: I only said ‘hi’
Jack: No, seriously. There are some words I’ve heard so many times they don’t even seem to mean anything anymore.
Louisa: I guess I know what you mean. Jane Salter called me a Fascist the other day cos I wouldn’t share my muffin with her.
Jack: And people casually fill up silences with mindless small talk
Louisa: So you’re moving to abolish small talk?
Jack: Maybe we just need new words. Ones with fresh meanings.
Louisa: Okay. Instead of ‘okay’, from now on we’ll say...
Jack: ‘Tüd’
Louisa: Random, but I like it
Jack: ‘Like’ can be...’yipyip’
Louisa: Tüd. What’s ‘dislike’?
Jack: ‘Nipnip’
Louisa: Too much like ‘yes’ and ‘no’
Jack: You’re right. How about ‘boogoo’?
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need some variation on tüd. It’ll get boring to say the same word all the time.
Louisa: Boogoo
Jack: That’s ‘dislike’
Louisa: I know, I'm vetoing your idea. We need to take it 'fugfug' for now. If these first words work out, we can 'moomoo' more later.
Jack: Tüd. Next we should probably have some words for ‘I’ and ‘you’.
Louisa: ‘I’ can be ‘pim’
Jack: And ‘you’ can be ‘din’
Louisa: ‘Tüdtüd’
Jack: ‘Super-okay’?
Louisa: Seemed logical
Jack: ‘Pimtüd’. ‘I agree’.
Louisa: And ‘pimyip’ can be ‘I like’. This is going tüdtüd so far.
Jack: People will think we’re ‘hemhem’ though
Louisa: ‘Pimboogoo’ people
Jack: We need a word for ‘people’
Louisa: ‘Dindies’?
Jack: That would be ‘you people’. We need ‘those people’.
Louisa: ‘Rindies’?
Jack: ‘Pimyip rin’. ‘Those’ and ‘that’ can double up for the moment.
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need a word for ‘our’, ‘us’, and ‘we’
Louisa: ‘Bim’
Jack: Tüdtüd
Louisa: Since bim saying ‘word’ so often...
Jack: ‘Word’ can be ‘gerty’. And ‘sentence’ can be ‘sabgerty’.
Scott enters
Scott: Hey guys
Louisa: We don’t have a greeting-gerty
Jack: I didn’t think bim need to greet rindies anymore
Louisa: Our greeting can be ‘jovo’
Jack: Pimyip rin
Louisa: Jovo, Scott
Scott: Huh?
Louisa: Bim moomoo new gerties. ‘We’re making up new words’.
Scott: Why?
Jack: To add more meaning to our sentences. Or should I say, ‘bim sabgerties’.
Jack: Do you ever feel like we’re devaluing words through overuse?
Louisa: I only said ‘hi’
Jack: No, seriously. There are some words I’ve heard so many times they don’t even seem to mean anything anymore.
Louisa: I guess I know what you mean. Jane Salter called me a Fascist the other day cos I wouldn’t share my muffin with her.
Jack: And people casually fill up silences with mindless small talk
Louisa: So you’re moving to abolish small talk?
Jack: Maybe we just need new words. Ones with fresh meanings.
Louisa: Okay. Instead of ‘okay’, from now on we’ll say...
Jack: ‘Tüd’
Louisa: Random, but I like it
Jack: ‘Like’ can be...’yipyip’
Louisa: Tüd. What’s ‘dislike’?
Jack: ‘Nipnip’
Louisa: Too much like ‘yes’ and ‘no’
Jack: You’re right. How about ‘boogoo’?
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need some variation on tüd. It’ll get boring to say the same word all the time.
Louisa: Boogoo
Jack: That’s ‘dislike’
Louisa: I know, I'm vetoing your idea. We need to take it 'fugfug' for now. If these first words work out, we can 'moomoo' more later.
Jack: Tüd. Next we should probably have some words for ‘I’ and ‘you’.
Louisa: ‘I’ can be ‘pim’
Jack: And ‘you’ can be ‘din’
Louisa: ‘Tüdtüd’
Jack: ‘Super-okay’?
Louisa: Seemed logical
Jack: ‘Pimtüd’. ‘I agree’.
Louisa: And ‘pimyip’ can be ‘I like’. This is going tüdtüd so far.
Jack: People will think we’re ‘hemhem’ though
Louisa: ‘Pimboogoo’ people
Jack: We need a word for ‘people’
Louisa: ‘Dindies’?
Jack: That would be ‘you people’. We need ‘those people’.
Louisa: ‘Rindies’?
Jack: ‘Pimyip rin’. ‘Those’ and ‘that’ can double up for the moment.
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need a word for ‘our’, ‘us’, and ‘we’
Louisa: ‘Bim’
Jack: Tüdtüd
Louisa: Since bim saying ‘word’ so often...
Jack: ‘Word’ can be ‘gerty’. And ‘sentence’ can be ‘sabgerty’.
Scott enters
Scott: Hey guys
Louisa: We don’t have a greeting-gerty
Jack: I didn’t think bim need to greet rindies anymore
Louisa: Our greeting can be ‘jovo’
Jack: Pimyip rin
Louisa: Jovo, Scott
Scott: Huh?
Louisa: Bim moomoo new gerties. ‘We’re making up new words’.
Scott: Why?
Jack: To add more meaning to our sentences. Or should I say, ‘bim sabgerties’.
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