Louisa: Wait, where's Jack?
Scott: Sick
Louisa: Oh no. He's gonna miss our friend-iversary. It's one year today since we became proper friends.
Scott: What happened a year ago?
Louisa: Nothing. We just threw a dart at a calendar. But that doesn't make today any less special. I even wrote a song to commemorate the occasion.
Scott: You were gonna sing?
Louisa: We both were. It's a duet. And then I was gonna do the Polish national anthem for an encore.
Scott: Yeah, I'm starting to think Jack's not really sick
Bus CXIX
Jack: What're you doing?
Scott: Trying to get this dog shit off my shoe
Jack: Sorry I asked
Louisa: That reminds me. You know how my birthday's coming up? Well, I was thinking maybe we could go for a meal.
Jack: What, just the two of us? Awkward.
Louisa: I meant Scott too
Jack: Oh, okay. But he'll be wearing different shoes, right?
Louisa: Me and my old friends always used to go for a meal on each other's birthdays. You know, before they decided I wasn't cool enough to hang out with them.
Jack: Well, now you're cool enough to hang out with us. Y'know, Scott, I think that's actually cat shit.
Scott: What's the difference?
Jack: Well, it came out of a cat
Louisa: So what do you think?
Jack: Yeah, I guess. Usually I just resent people on their birthdays, so this could be an interesting change of pace. Where would we go though?
Scott: Have you guys ever been to Chug-Chug? They've got these amazing magic-eye puzzles on the tablecloths.
Jack: Yeah, but if it was a choice between their food and your shoe, I'd lick the shoe
Louisa: Anyway, I was thinking maybe somewhere a bit more classy
Scott: I can't afford anywhere classy
Louisa: Oh, my mum would pay for it all. Or my dad. They're fighting over the chance to pay for it all, actually.
Jack: It's nice to know that even when people stop loving each other, they can still find ways to fight over money
Scott: Trying to get this dog shit off my shoe
Jack: Sorry I asked
Louisa: That reminds me. You know how my birthday's coming up? Well, I was thinking maybe we could go for a meal.
Jack: What, just the two of us? Awkward.
Louisa: I meant Scott too
Jack: Oh, okay. But he'll be wearing different shoes, right?
Louisa: Me and my old friends always used to go for a meal on each other's birthdays. You know, before they decided I wasn't cool enough to hang out with them.
Jack: Well, now you're cool enough to hang out with us. Y'know, Scott, I think that's actually cat shit.
Scott: What's the difference?
Jack: Well, it came out of a cat
Louisa: So what do you think?
Jack: Yeah, I guess. Usually I just resent people on their birthdays, so this could be an interesting change of pace. Where would we go though?
Scott: Have you guys ever been to Chug-Chug? They've got these amazing magic-eye puzzles on the tablecloths.
Jack: Yeah, but if it was a choice between their food and your shoe, I'd lick the shoe
Louisa: Anyway, I was thinking maybe somewhere a bit more classy
Scott: I can't afford anywhere classy
Louisa: Oh, my mum would pay for it all. Or my dad. They're fighting over the chance to pay for it all, actually.
Jack: It's nice to know that even when people stop loving each other, they can still find ways to fight over money
Bus CXVIII
Louisa: Thinking about getting a job
Jack: Big mistake, Lou-Lou
Louisa: It's a mistake to want to better myself?
Jack: Yes, but that's really a separate issue
Louisa: Work is good for the soul
Jack: Last week you said the same thing about muffins
Louisa: Well, the two things aren't mutually exclusive
Jack: Find yourself a job at a muffin factory, and you're all set
Jack: Big mistake, Lou-Lou
Louisa: It's a mistake to want to better myself?
Jack: Yes, but that's really a separate issue
Louisa: Work is good for the soul
Jack: Last week you said the same thing about muffins
Louisa: Well, the two things aren't mutually exclusive
Jack: Find yourself a job at a muffin factory, and you're all set
Bus CXVII
Jack: Did you see the school's got a new sponsor?
Louisa: I just finished writing an angry editorial about it for the Gazette
Jack: How can you write an editorial when you're not the editor?
Louisa: The question you ought to ask is how can it be appropriate for a school to get sponsored by a company that makes rifles
Jack: To be fair, they don't actually make rifles. Just rifle bullets.
Louisa: Oh, that's okay then!
Jack: If they didn't make the bullets, people would still own rifles. They'd just be hitting each other over the head with them or something.
Louisa: Well, that still sounds better than everyone shooting each other
Jack: Yeah, I guess it does. Didn't really think that one through.
Louisa: If we've gotta have a sponsor, it should at least be something in keeping with the character of the school
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno. Cheap cider or something.
Jack: Is that really any better than guns?
Louisa: A little bit, yeah. We already have a drinking problem at this school. We don't yet have a shooting problem.
Jack: Except heroin
Louisa: Well yeah, obviously
Jack: This is kind of a crappy school, isn't it
Louisa: I just finished writing an angry editorial about it for the Gazette
Jack: How can you write an editorial when you're not the editor?
Louisa: The question you ought to ask is how can it be appropriate for a school to get sponsored by a company that makes rifles
Jack: To be fair, they don't actually make rifles. Just rifle bullets.
Louisa: Oh, that's okay then!
Jack: If they didn't make the bullets, people would still own rifles. They'd just be hitting each other over the head with them or something.
Louisa: Well, that still sounds better than everyone shooting each other
Jack: Yeah, I guess it does. Didn't really think that one through.
Louisa: If we've gotta have a sponsor, it should at least be something in keeping with the character of the school
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno. Cheap cider or something.
Jack: Is that really any better than guns?
Louisa: A little bit, yeah. We already have a drinking problem at this school. We don't yet have a shooting problem.
Jack: Except heroin
Louisa: Well yeah, obviously
Jack: This is kind of a crappy school, isn't it
Bus CXVI
Jack: Fucking Phockford
Louisa: Huh?
Jack: Ronnie Phelps. Lizzie Rockford. Phockford.
Louisa: Clever
Jack: Why doesn't she like me?
Louisa: I really can't imagine. You're angry, bitter, cynical. Everything a teenage girl could want.
Jack: I just feel so empty
Louisa: You can share my sandwich if you want
Jack: Not that kind of empty
Louisa: Huh?
Jack: Ronnie Phelps. Lizzie Rockford. Phockford.
Louisa: Clever
Jack: Why doesn't she like me?
Louisa: I really can't imagine. You're angry, bitter, cynical. Everything a teenage girl could want.
Jack: I just feel so empty
Louisa: You can share my sandwich if you want
Jack: Not that kind of empty
Bus CXV
Louisa: Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?
Jack: Both
Louisa: You have to choose
Jack: Then neither
Louisa: What, you're too good for just one superpower?
Jack: What's the point of being able to fly if everyone can see me? It'd be ten minutes, tops, before I got declared a danger to national security and shot down by anti-aircraft guns.
Louisa: Okay, then forget about flight and just choose invisibility
Jack: That's no good either. If I can turn invisible but still have to walk everywhere, people will just keep bumping into me all the time.
Louisa: Fine, what power do you want? Totally free choice.
Jack: Selective hearing. I wanna be able to block out all the stupid things that people say to me.
Louisa: That's really lame
Jack: Yeah, but whenever people say it's lame, I'll just block them out
Louisa: Still lame
Jack: Alright, what would your power be then?
Louisa: I dunno. Maybe really good cooking skills. I always burn everything.
Jack: Cool. We could be a superhero tag team.
Louisa: Not much of a tag team. Somewhere there's a deaf chef who's got as much power as the two of us combined.
Jack: Both
Louisa: You have to choose
Jack: Then neither
Louisa: What, you're too good for just one superpower?
Jack: What's the point of being able to fly if everyone can see me? It'd be ten minutes, tops, before I got declared a danger to national security and shot down by anti-aircraft guns.
Louisa: Okay, then forget about flight and just choose invisibility
Jack: That's no good either. If I can turn invisible but still have to walk everywhere, people will just keep bumping into me all the time.
Louisa: Fine, what power do you want? Totally free choice.
Jack: Selective hearing. I wanna be able to block out all the stupid things that people say to me.
Louisa: That's really lame
Jack: Yeah, but whenever people say it's lame, I'll just block them out
Louisa: Still lame
Jack: Alright, what would your power be then?
Louisa: I dunno. Maybe really good cooking skills. I always burn everything.
Jack: Cool. We could be a superhero tag team.
Louisa: Not much of a tag team. Somewhere there's a deaf chef who's got as much power as the two of us combined.
Bus CXIV
Louisa: Has your sister found a new job yet?
Scott: Nope, she's had to start signing on
Louisa: Oh dear. Well, at least she's getting some money in.
Scott: I guess, but she's pretty down about the whole thing. It doesn't help that they made her jump through all these hoops to qualify.
Louisa: What kind of hoops?
Scott: Actual hoops. It was part of the Unemployed Sports Day.
Louisa: What's that?
Jack: It's a new government initiative to get the unemployed in shape for a future of manual labour. And they sell tickets to help fund the unemployment benefits.
Louisa: What, so a load of rich people can point and laugh?
Jack: It's mostly family members screaming and crying, but yeah. In theory.
Scott: Nope, she's had to start signing on
Louisa: Oh dear. Well, at least she's getting some money in.
Scott: I guess, but she's pretty down about the whole thing. It doesn't help that they made her jump through all these hoops to qualify.
Louisa: What kind of hoops?
Scott: Actual hoops. It was part of the Unemployed Sports Day.
Louisa: What's that?
Jack: It's a new government initiative to get the unemployed in shape for a future of manual labour. And they sell tickets to help fund the unemployment benefits.
Louisa: What, so a load of rich people can point and laugh?
Jack: It's mostly family members screaming and crying, but yeah. In theory.
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