Louisa: I miss being a kid
Jack: I miss ice cream
Louisa: You had ice cream yesterday
Jack: Never tastes the same anymore.
Scott: Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I reckon they ran out of the real ice cream a few years back and now they're just putting any old crap in it.
Louisa: And they never put as many crisps in the bag anymore. One of these days I'm gonna open a bag and it'll literally just be one crisp.
Jack: I swear it used to be sunnier back then too. Now it just rains all the time.
Louisa: I remember one year Lorrie Blackman had a bouncy castle, so we spent all summer pretending we liked her
Jack: Whatever happened to Lorrie?
Louisa: Her dad went mental or something. Moved them all to Sheffield.
Jack: When you were a kid, you could just go out and play and not have to worry about any of this shit. What d'you miss most about being young, Scott?
Scott: I dunno, being able to pee wherever I wanted was pretty good. No queueing.
Jack: Sorry I asked
Bus V
Louisa: Thinking about getting my hair braided
Jack: Isn’t that against the rules?
Louisa: Is it? Oh well, I’ll make up an excuse.
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno, I’ll say I had a car crash or something
Jack: A car crash that braided your hair?
Louisa shrugs
Jack: Isn’t that against the rules?
Louisa: Is it? Oh well, I’ll make up an excuse.
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno, I’ll say I had a car crash or something
Jack: A car crash that braided your hair?
Louisa shrugs
Bus IV
Jack: How’s the job?
Scott: It’s alright. Ted lets me use the machines without goggles. He says goggles are for pussies.
Jack: Isn’t he blind?
Scott: So what if he is? No need to discriminate.
Louisa: If I was a burglar, I’d definitely target the blind
Jack: Such an enlightened bus, this one
Scott: It’s alright. Ted lets me use the machines without goggles. He says goggles are for pussies.
Jack: Isn’t he blind?
Scott: So what if he is? No need to discriminate.
Louisa: If I was a burglar, I’d definitely target the blind
Jack: Such an enlightened bus, this one
Bus III
Louisa: How was the museum, guys?
Jack: Meh
Scott: We saw this cool old skull. It was, like, a million years old or something.
Jack: It wasn’t that old
Scott: How d'you know? You spent the whole time making eyes at Lizzie Rockford.
Louisa: Ha, you fancy Lizzie Rockford?
Jack: It’s him who fancies her
Scott: No, I don’t. She’s got a squint.
Jack: It’s not a squint. One of her eyes is just a little bit bigger than the other.
Scott: You’re right, she’s a stunner
Jack: Shut up, Scott
Louisa: Ha, you do fancy her. Is it love, Jack?
Jack: I don’t fancy her. Just feel a bit sorry for her.
Scott: You’ve never felt sorry for anyone
Jack: Oh yeah? What about that woman with the shopping bags?
Scott: That was only cos you wanted to get off with her
Jack: She was eighty-two
Scott: Don’t I know it, you pervert
Louisa: Lizzie isn’t that bad-looking. She has nice teeth. I’d kill for her teeth.
Scott: Who wants nice teeth? You only use them for eating.
Louisa: And smiling. They give her a nice smile.
Jack: That skull had horrible teeth. All yellow.
Louisa: I guess they didn’t have toothpaste back then
Scott: And the tablets can't have helped
Louisa: Huh?
Scott: It said in the museum about them having stone tablets. For headaches and stuff. They used to break their teeth on them.
Jack: Meh
Scott: We saw this cool old skull. It was, like, a million years old or something.
Jack: It wasn’t that old
Scott: How d'you know? You spent the whole time making eyes at Lizzie Rockford.
Louisa: Ha, you fancy Lizzie Rockford?
Jack: It’s him who fancies her
Scott: No, I don’t. She’s got a squint.
Jack: It’s not a squint. One of her eyes is just a little bit bigger than the other.
Scott: You’re right, she’s a stunner
Jack: Shut up, Scott
Louisa: Ha, you do fancy her. Is it love, Jack?
Jack: I don’t fancy her. Just feel a bit sorry for her.
Scott: You’ve never felt sorry for anyone
Jack: Oh yeah? What about that woman with the shopping bags?
Scott: That was only cos you wanted to get off with her
Jack: She was eighty-two
Scott: Don’t I know it, you pervert
Louisa: Lizzie isn’t that bad-looking. She has nice teeth. I’d kill for her teeth.
Scott: Who wants nice teeth? You only use them for eating.
Louisa: And smiling. They give her a nice smile.
Jack: That skull had horrible teeth. All yellow.
Louisa: I guess they didn’t have toothpaste back then
Scott: And the tablets can't have helped
Louisa: Huh?
Scott: It said in the museum about them having stone tablets. For headaches and stuff. They used to break their teeth on them.
Bus II
Scott: Did you hear about the knife fight in town?
Louisa: No! When was this?
Scott: Last night. I saw it.
Jack: How did you see it? You were round my house last night.
Scott: After I left. I got a text from this girl I know, so I went down there.
Jack: Thanks for texting me too
Scott: Sorry. Didn't have any credit.
Louisa: What were they fighting over?
Scott: This fat guy had stolen the other guy’s pig
Jack: They were fighting over a pig? Who has pigs round here?
Scott: They looked like circus people
Louisa: You must be making this up. Since when do circuses have pigs?
Scott: It wasn’t part of the circus. Just the non-fat guy’s pet.
Louisa: Did he get it back?
Scott: No, but the fat guy agreed to buy him another one
Louisa: No! When was this?
Scott: Last night. I saw it.
Jack: How did you see it? You were round my house last night.
Scott: After I left. I got a text from this girl I know, so I went down there.
Jack: Thanks for texting me too
Scott: Sorry. Didn't have any credit.
Louisa: What were they fighting over?
Scott: This fat guy had stolen the other guy’s pig
Jack: They were fighting over a pig? Who has pigs round here?
Scott: They looked like circus people
Louisa: You must be making this up. Since when do circuses have pigs?
Scott: It wasn’t part of the circus. Just the non-fat guy’s pet.
Louisa: Did he get it back?
Scott: No, but the fat guy agreed to buy him another one
Bus I
Louisa: Why does this bus always smell of pineapple?
Jack: Driver’s lunch. Pineapple sandwiches.
Louisa: Nobody eats pineapple sandwiches
Scott: Dunno. I saw my aunt eat a watermelon sandwich once.
Jack: Same aunt who ate a shit sandwich?
Scott: Nope, that was a different one
Louisa: Your aunt ate a shit sandwich?
Scott: For a bet. Now she’s a millionaire.
Louisa: If she’s a millionaire, why're you riding the pineapple bus?
Scott: She owns the bus company.
Louisa: Oh yeah? Ask her why the bus smells of pineapple then.
Jack: His whole family smells of pineapple
Scott: Do I smell of pineapple, prick? No.
Jack: You do on this bus
Louisa: Seriously, Scott, why does the bus smell of pineapple?
Scott: The cleaning spray they use. It's pineapple flavoured.
Louisa: Mmm. Wish I had a car.
Jack: Driver’s lunch. Pineapple sandwiches.
Louisa: Nobody eats pineapple sandwiches
Scott: Dunno. I saw my aunt eat a watermelon sandwich once.
Jack: Same aunt who ate a shit sandwich?
Scott: Nope, that was a different one
Louisa: Your aunt ate a shit sandwich?
Scott: For a bet. Now she’s a millionaire.
Louisa: If she’s a millionaire, why're you riding the pineapple bus?
Scott: She owns the bus company.
Louisa: Oh yeah? Ask her why the bus smells of pineapple then.
Jack: His whole family smells of pineapple
Scott: Do I smell of pineapple, prick? No.
Jack: You do on this bus
Louisa: Seriously, Scott, why does the bus smell of pineapple?
Scott: The cleaning spray they use. It's pineapple flavoured.
Louisa: Mmm. Wish I had a car.
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