Bus CXIII

Louisa: Be Christmas soon

Jack: Argh, don't remind me

Louisa: Not looking forward to it this year?

Jack: I never look forward to it. We've been friends for eleven months, and you don't know I hate Christmas?

Louisa: Was hoping you'd change your mind. How can anyone hate Christmas?

Jack: Well, hating things gets easier the more you do it

Bus CXII

Louisa: Did you hear what happened to Mr Halley?

Jack: Who's Mr Halley?

Louisa: Science teacher with the afro

Jack: Don't think I know him

Louisa: He comes to work on a skateboard

Jack: Not ringing any bells

Louisa: Well, he was covering for Miss Caesar yesterday

Jack: Who?

Louisa: You must know Miss Caesar. She has a peg leg. Anyway, Mr Halley decided to show the class a documentary, but he mixed up the discs and accidentally put on a porn film.

Jack: He showed his class porn?

Louisa: The worst part is he went to the toilet as soon as it started running, so it took him five minutes to come back and realise his mistake. By then Paula McIntosh had called her dad to ask some pertinent questions, and the damage was done.

Jack: Ha. Typical Paula.

Louisa: You don't know Paula either, do you?

Jack: Not as such

Louisa: Her dog played piano in assembly that time

Jack: I must've been sick that day

Bus CXI

Jack: I saw your dad in Plumpton last night

Louisa: Oh yeah?

Jack: He was going into a flat up near the big roundabout with the flowers

Louisa: Yeah, a lot of his friends live up there

Jack: Must be really close friends. He had a key and everything.

Louisa: He's a friendly guy. And obviously he has a degree in floristry, so he probably likes being near the big flowers.

Jack: They're not big flowers. There's just a lot of them.

Louisa: Whatever

Jack: Okay, I'm not buying this for a second. Have you guys moved or something?

Louisa: You came round my house three days ago. No, two days ago.

Jack: It was four days ago

Louisa: If you must know, my parents are taking a little time apart. That's just where he's living at the moment.

Jack: Oh man, I wish my parents would do that

Louisa: You'd be welcome to it. I just wish my parents liked each other.

Jack: Well yeah, me too. But I've learned to be realistic.

Bus CX

Louisa coughs violently

Jack: Hey, are you okay?

Louisa: My head's on fire and I feel like I'm about to vomit

Jack: Some of us just call that Monday

Louisa: And these so-called cough sweets aren't working at all

Jack: Probably cos those are breath minths

Louisa: That's no excuse

Jack: Didn't you wonder why your breath was all minty?

Louisa: I thought it was another symptom

Bus CIX

Louisa: Sorry about Lizzie

Jack: Huh?

Louisa: Oh. Nothing.

Jack: What is it?

Louisa: Well, I thought you must've heard. She's got a new boyfriend.

Jack: Oh, okay. I guess that's her business.

Louisa: Wow, I'm glad you're taking it so well

Jack: How did you expect me to take it?

Louisa: Major tantrum. Like your sister when they run out of strawberry ice cream.

Jack: Lizzie uses strawberry shampoo

Louisa: She really doesn't

Jack: Well, she would if her hair didn't naturally taste of strawberries

Louisa: You've tasted her hair?

Jack: Well, I tasted somebody's hair. So who's the lucky guy then? God, it's not Scott, is it? No wonder he hasn't been around much lately.

Louisa: No, Scott's still as lonely and unfulfilled as the rest of us. It's Ronnie Phelps.

Jack: What the fuck? I wish it was Scott. At least he can tie his own shoes.

Louisa: To be fair, Ronnie wears loafers now