Jack: So what d'you think of the new headteacher?
Louisa: Bitch. All she wants to do is save money.
Jack: I feel she’s making some necessary savings
Louisa: You would
Jack: Why do we need two History of Art departments? Most schools don’t have one.
Louisa: They offer competing views. What sort of education would it be if we only ever got one view from one person?
Jack: An affordable education? And don’t even get me started on the ghost-hunting trips.
Louisa: Those were the best trips ever
Jack: Benny Rousseau is still in the asylum. He plays solitaire with Scott’s mum.
Louisa: There’s a two-person solitaire?
Jack: They take turns
Louisa: I can't remember the last time we didn’t know at least one person who was in the asylum. What happened?
Jack: I think we just knew less people before
Bus LVIII
Scott: My sister’s eighteen today
Louisa: I thought she was already your legal guardian?
Scott: Fake ID
Louisa: It’ll be nice when we can all go down the pub together
Jack: Oh, I won’t be drinking socially
Louisa: Why's that?
Jack: If I’m with good people, why do I need to drug myself? And if I’m with bad people, why aren’t I spending some quality time at home with the drink instead?
Louisa: I thought she was already your legal guardian?
Scott: Fake ID
Louisa: It’ll be nice when we can all go down the pub together
Jack: Oh, I won’t be drinking socially
Louisa: Why's that?
Jack: If I’m with good people, why do I need to drug myself? And if I’m with bad people, why aren’t I spending some quality time at home with the drink instead?
Bus LVII
Louisa: How’s the musical coming along?
Jack: Pretty well
Louisa: What’s the story?
Jack: It all starts off with this girl whose microwave breaks, and she’s despairing...when suddenly her oven starts singing to her. Telling her about all the exciting things you can do with an oven, and how microwaves are just for lazy people anyway.
Louisa: Elitist
Jack: I write what I know
Louisa: Wasn’t the musical meant to be more realistic this year? After ‘Moon Nuns’.
Jack: Pretty well
Louisa: What’s the story?
Jack: It all starts off with this girl whose microwave breaks, and she’s despairing...when suddenly her oven starts singing to her. Telling her about all the exciting things you can do with an oven, and how microwaves are just for lazy people anyway.
Louisa: Elitist
Jack: I write what I know
Louisa: Wasn’t the musical meant to be more realistic this year? After ‘Moon Nuns’.
Bus LVI
Scott is wearing a black armband
Louisa: What’s up?
Jack: His microwave broke
Louisa: Oh dear. Can’t you get a new one?
Scott: Next week. When Em gets paid.
Louisa: Well until then, you're welcome to come use mine
Scott: Thanks, but I can’t cook with people watching
Louisa: At least you've still got the gas oven
Scott: Had it taken out after...well, you know
Jack: I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up
Scott: A grill?
Jack: Nope – a bendy straw!
Scott: So what?
Jack: You like straws, remember?
Scott: That was just talk. This is life.
Jack: Did I tell you I'm writing the musical now? They rejected Wallace's script.
Scott starts crying
Louisa: Scott, don't cry. It'll be okay.
Jack: Who knew a broken microwave could be so traumatic? Aren't they just meaningless objects of attachment?
Scott: Yeah, but they make life so much easier!
Louisa: My dad cried when our barbecue broke. We'd only used it twice in ten years.
Jack: Serious?
Louisa: To you, eating is just reverse-vomiting...but to some people, it's a way of life
Louisa: What’s up?
Jack: His microwave broke
Louisa: Oh dear. Can’t you get a new one?
Scott: Next week. When Em gets paid.
Louisa: Well until then, you're welcome to come use mine
Scott: Thanks, but I can’t cook with people watching
Louisa: At least you've still got the gas oven
Scott: Had it taken out after...well, you know
Jack: I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up
Scott: A grill?
Jack: Nope – a bendy straw!
Scott: So what?
Jack: You like straws, remember?
Scott: That was just talk. This is life.
Jack: Did I tell you I'm writing the musical now? They rejected Wallace's script.
Scott starts crying
Louisa: Scott, don't cry. It'll be okay.
Jack: Who knew a broken microwave could be so traumatic? Aren't they just meaningless objects of attachment?
Scott: Yeah, but they make life so much easier!
Louisa: My dad cried when our barbecue broke. We'd only used it twice in ten years.
Jack: Serious?
Louisa: To you, eating is just reverse-vomiting...but to some people, it's a way of life
Bus LV
Louisa: Let’s play a game
Scott: I’m all Snapped out
Louisa: Let’s play a little game called ‘I Wonder What Lizzie Is Doing’
Jack: I knew you were reading my private notebook! ‘Feeling the binding’ – worst excuse ever.
Scott: I bet Lizzie’s...fighting aliens
Jack: No, see, you haven’t read the rules. It has to be plausible. She could never be fighting aliens – teaching aliens the futility of war, maybe, but never fighting them.
Louisa: Can she be in bed with her hunky musician boyfriend who isn’t you?
Jack: Clearly you aren’t mature enough for this game
Scott: I’m all Snapped out
Louisa: Let’s play a little game called ‘I Wonder What Lizzie Is Doing’
Jack: I knew you were reading my private notebook! ‘Feeling the binding’ – worst excuse ever.
Scott: I bet Lizzie’s...fighting aliens
Jack: No, see, you haven’t read the rules. It has to be plausible. She could never be fighting aliens – teaching aliens the futility of war, maybe, but never fighting them.
Louisa: Can she be in bed with her hunky musician boyfriend who isn’t you?
Jack: Clearly you aren’t mature enough for this game
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