Bus LIII

Louisa: I can't believe Mr Gogol died

Scott: Who's Mr Gogol?

Louisa: Our headteacher!

Scott: The guy who dresses as a bat?

Louisa: I don't think that's a real person, Scott

Bus LIV

Louisa: Just entered the funeral raffle

Jack: There’s a raffle?

Louisa: Yeah, for tickets. The marching band is gonna play and everything.

Jack: I thought Mr Gogol hated the marching band. Didn’t he try and retract their funding?

Louisa: I doubt funerals were really his scene either, so what’s your problem?

Bus LII

Jack: God, I hate school uniforms. Wish we had Mufti every day.

Louisa: Only yesterday you said how much you hate Mufti Days!

Jack: Yeah, I hate them cos they’re the exception. Feeling comfortable shouldn’t be some special end-of-term treat.

Louisa: I think they’re best as an occasional thing. Uniform helps the poor kids hide.

Jack: You’re right. Out of sight, out of mind. That works for me.

Bus LI

Louisa: Skiver

Jack: You know my policy on Mufti Days. Why should I have to pay a pound for the privilege of wearing my own clothes?

Louisa: Because it goes to charity?

Jack: Forced donations are worse than no donations at all. It’s dirty money.

Louisa: I’m sure the starving orphans share that sentiment

Bus XLIX

Louisa is reading a magazine

Louisa: Wanna come see Fruit with me?

Jack: I've got some at home, thanks

Louisa: They're a girl group, fool. Says here they're touring.

Jack: You know my stance on commercial music

Louisa: How about you, Scott?

Scott: I'm there!

Jack: Thought you only listened to bluegrass?

Scott: I'm branching out

Bus L

Louisa: New phone?

Jack: Yep

Louisa: Text me your number

Jack: Will do. Not yet though.

Louisa: Why’s that?

Jack: I want a few days to enjoy my phone before people start contacting me and ruin it

Bus XLVIII

Scott: How many kids do you want?

Jack: From you? None.

Scott: Seriously

Jack: Still none. Horrible puking things.

Scott: You don’t like kids?

Jack: If it’s any consolation, I don’t like old people either

Scott: How about you, Lou?

Louisa: I’m with Jack on this one

Scott: What’s wrong with you guys? Babies are cute.

Louisa: So are rabbits – that doesn’t mean I want to push one out of my vagina

Jack: The desire to produce little versions of ourselves is humanity’s most disturbing psychosis

Louisa: Exactly. One big ego trip.

Scott: What are you talking about? We need babies to survive.

Jack: There are seven billion people on this planet – we passed the survival threshold some time ago

Louisa: And it’s convenient, isn’t it, that the only way our species can survive is for me to get fat and stay indoors while my husband gets rich and screws his secretary

Bus XLVII

Louisa: Think I’ll go to Church this week. Haven’t been for a while.

Jack: Surely you don’t still believe all that crap?

Louisa: I do, as it happens

Jack: Oh c’mon, you can't seriously believe there’s a magical man in the sky who’ll fix all your problems?

Louisa: I don’t think it’s a man – or a woman, come to that – and I don’t know if they’ll fix all my problems...but yeah, I believe there’s something up there

Jack: Can’t you see you’ve just been brainwashed by your parents?

Louisa: You got atheism from your parents, so what’s the difference?

Jack: Plenty. Atheism isn’t a belief...it’s an absence of belief. There’s simply no proof for religion.

Louisa: It’s not about proof, it’s about faith

Jack: Yeah, that’s what your lot keep saying so you don’t have to provide any proof

Louisa: There’s loads of stuff you believe in without any proof

Jack: Like what?

Louisa: You believe in the Green Man

Jack: Huh?

Louisa: When you’re crossing a road, you always wait for the Green Man. I’ve never seen you run across.

Jack: Yeah, cos I don’t want to get knocked down

Louisa: So you, in fact, believe that this magical Green Man protects you from harm? You believe the Green Man is interested in your personal well-being?

Jack: The Green Man doesn’t exist. He’s just a light.

Louisa: If he’s just a light, why d'you trust him with your life?

Jack: Because I’ve always trusted him before and I’ve never got knocked down

Louisa: Yeah, but why did you first start trusting him? When you first crossed a road, how did you know he was there to help you?

Jack: I dunno, I guess my mum told me...

Louisa: Oh, you mean like my mum told me there’s a God?

Jack: Yeah, but she didn’t claim the Green Man was some magical being. She said he was created by humans...

Louisa: According to you, religion was created by humans. Why believe in one manmade thing but not another?

Jack: Everyone believes in the Green Man...

Louisa: Couple of centuries ago, everyone believed in God. You've no proof that the Green Man is looking out for your welfare. He could have his own agenda. Yet you believe in him anyway.

Jack: What you’re saying doesn’t make logical sense

Louisa: Logic's meaningless - a cunning argument can prove anything. Face it, Jack, you’re a crowd follower. Just like me.

Bus XLVI

Louisa: Sports Day soon

Jack: Oh yeah. I wonder if Bobby Langford can win back his long-jump record.

Louisa: What're you talking about? He still holds the record.

Jack: Nah, Moses Friar beat it last year. Don’t you remember his amazing jump?

Louisa: Moses did a good jump, sure...but Bobby still holds the record

Jack: Are you kidding me? Has Moses Friar’s achievement just been airbrushed out of history?

Louisa: Maybe you’re thinking of that jump where he was disqualified for going past the line

Jack: I’m telling you, he beat the record. You’ve just forgotten.

Louisa: Whatever

Jack: If people are forgetting this, who knows what else they're forgetting? It's all very well for the majority to partake of that mindless boogie you call the present, but a courageous few must safeguard past truths for future generations. This sacred duty...

Enter Scott

Louisa: Hey, who holds the Sports Day long-jump record?

Scott: Everyone knows that: Bobby Langford

Louisa: See!

Jack: Nah, Moses Friar beat it last year

Scott: Moses? He was home ill last Sports Day.

Jack: Shit, really? What about the year before that?

Scott: Did a good jump, but it was nowhere near Bobby's

Louisa: Thank God some of us are safeguarding past truths for future generations

Bus XLV

Louisa: Where’s Scott?

Jack: Went home halfway through Art. Said he had a dentist's appointment.

Louisa: Surely anyone can see Scott doesn’t go to the dentist?

Jack: Well, you know Mrs Fibonacci...she’s an optimist. It was a pretty good lesson too. About perspective.

Louisa: Look who it is!

Enter Scott

Jack: Hey, I thought you’d gone home?

Scott: Yeah, that didn’t work out

Louisa: What happened?

Scott: Well, I tried to walk across the field backwards. Figured that if a teacher saw me, they’d think I was walking into school...instead of out.

Louisa: That’s so clever!

Scott: Didn’t work though. Mr Finch saw me through his periscope.

Jack: Y'know, you really should’ve stayed ‘til the end of that Art lesson