Louisa: What’s your favourite song?
Jack: I dunno
Louisa: C’mon, you must have some idea
Jack: I don’t want to say
Louisa: Why?
Jack: Cos you’re gonna use that magazine quiz to classify me by what type of song I say
Louisa: That’s right. Just say the first song that comes into your head.
Jack: ‘Happy Birthday to You’
Louisa: Wow, you must really like wishing people Happy Birthday
Jack: Maybe I just like the melody. But no, it’s the first song that came into my head cos we were singing it to Eddie Mangum in Geography.
Louisa: Okay, what’s the second song that comes into your head?
Jack: ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’
Louisa: But you don’t like Christmas either. This doesn’t make any sense.
Jack: On reflection, I think I’ll walk home
Bus LXVII
Scott: Did you see that new sitcom last night?
Jack: About the PM trying different jobs? Yeah, it was pretty funny.
Louisa: Isn’t ‘Prime Minister’ supposed to be his job?
Jack: Well, they were debating how much money they should give farmers, so he went and worked on a farm, to see what it’s like
Scott: Then at the end he said ‘Maybe I’ll try this again next week’, and winked
Louisa: What did he decide about the farmers?
Jack: Didn’t give ‘em anything
Louisa: Harsh
Scott: It was only cos they played a prank on him. Took away the step-ladder so he fell in a tub of pig shit.
Louisa: Why were they collecting pig shit in a tub?
Jack: Who cares when it’s funny?
Scott: Yeah, you’ve gotta love political comedy
Jack: About the PM trying different jobs? Yeah, it was pretty funny.
Louisa: Isn’t ‘Prime Minister’ supposed to be his job?
Jack: Well, they were debating how much money they should give farmers, so he went and worked on a farm, to see what it’s like
Scott: Then at the end he said ‘Maybe I’ll try this again next week’, and winked
Louisa: What did he decide about the farmers?
Jack: Didn’t give ‘em anything
Louisa: Harsh
Scott: It was only cos they played a prank on him. Took away the step-ladder so he fell in a tub of pig shit.
Louisa: Why were they collecting pig shit in a tub?
Jack: Who cares when it’s funny?
Scott: Yeah, you’ve gotta love political comedy
Bus LXVIII
Louisa: Ever feel like you’re just going through the motions, instead of really living?
Jack: Only when I’m with you
Louisa: Wow, that was almost funny
Jack: I take comfort in knowing everyone else is wasting their life too. That, and muttering ''Fuck you, God'' under my breath.
Louisa: God isn’t the cause of your malaise
Jack: Of course not. He doesn’t exist.
Scott: Please don’t talk about God again. You did that already.
Jack: If only R.E. teachers followed the same logic...
Jack: Only when I’m with you
Louisa: Wow, that was almost funny
Jack: I take comfort in knowing everyone else is wasting their life too. That, and muttering ''Fuck you, God'' under my breath.
Louisa: God isn’t the cause of your malaise
Jack: Of course not. He doesn’t exist.
Scott: Please don’t talk about God again. You did that already.
Jack: If only R.E. teachers followed the same logic...
Bus LXVI
Louisa: You really love her, huh?
Jack: Who?
Louisa: Lizzie. You keep staring at the sandwich wrapper she left on the kerb.
Jack: Promise not to laugh? When I think about her being with anyone else, I get this empty feeling in my chest. I can’t bear it.
Louisa (sympathetically): Maybe it’s just a heart attack
Jack: Who?
Louisa: Lizzie. You keep staring at the sandwich wrapper she left on the kerb.
Jack: Promise not to laugh? When I think about her being with anyone else, I get this empty feeling in my chest. I can’t bear it.
Louisa (sympathetically): Maybe it’s just a heart attack
Bus LXV
Louisa: Anything happen in assembly?
Jack: I was chosen as ‘Gifted’
Louisa: What’s that mean?
Jack: Get to go on special trips and stuff
Louisa: I hate that. We’ll be segregated soon enough in the real world – can’t we at least be equal in school?
Jack: You were chosen too
Louisa (proudly): Who, me?
Jack: I was chosen as ‘Gifted’
Louisa: What’s that mean?
Jack: Get to go on special trips and stuff
Louisa: I hate that. We’ll be segregated soon enough in the real world – can’t we at least be equal in school?
Jack: You were chosen too
Louisa (proudly): Who, me?
Bus LXIII
Jack: Doesn’t it kinda get you down that we scramble for the backseat every day, twice a day, like a pack of dogs? I mean, is it worth the hassle? It’s just a seat.
Louisa: Everyone wants the backseat. If they all want it, there must be something good about it...so we should want it too.
Jack: We can’t tell what we want by ourselves?
Louisa: Hell, no
Louisa: Everyone wants the backseat. If they all want it, there must be something good about it...so we should want it too.
Jack: We can’t tell what we want by ourselves?
Louisa: Hell, no
Bus LXIV
Louisa: I’m doing a project on the Moon landing
Jack: Clearly a hoax
Scott: Tell me about it. A piece of rock that floats round us in a circle? How dumb do they think we are?
Louisa: It wasn’t a hoax
Jack: Of course you think that. You’d rather believe the official story than your own eyes, cos your own eyes make you feel scared and alone.
Louisa: And you’d rather believe some cranky website, cos not looking other people in the eye makes you feel special and unique
Jack: Clearly a hoax
Scott: Tell me about it. A piece of rock that floats round us in a circle? How dumb do they think we are?
Louisa: It wasn’t a hoax
Jack: Of course you think that. You’d rather believe the official story than your own eyes, cos your own eyes make you feel scared and alone.
Louisa: And you’d rather believe some cranky website, cos not looking other people in the eye makes you feel special and unique
Bus LXII
Jack: They’re switching on the Mr Gogol Memorial Fountain tomorrow lunchtime
Louisa: So there’ll be no queue in the canteen? Score.
Jack: I thought perhaps you might want to pay your respects
Louisa: Pay my respects? Only time he spoke to me was to complain about my shoes being dirty.
Scott: Hey, remember that time his trousers fell down in assembly?
Louisa: Ha ha, yeah. Classic.
Jack (wiping away a tear): He was a true British hero
Louisa: So there’ll be no queue in the canteen? Score.
Jack: I thought perhaps you might want to pay your respects
Louisa: Pay my respects? Only time he spoke to me was to complain about my shoes being dirty.
Scott: Hey, remember that time his trousers fell down in assembly?
Louisa: Ha ha, yeah. Classic.
Jack (wiping away a tear): He was a true British hero
Bus LXI
Scott: How was New York?
Louisa: Brilliant. It felt like my reward for all those years of depressing caravan holidays.
Scott: Me and Em are saving up for a caravan holiday. We both put a tenner in the jar whenever we’re paid.
Louisa: Good for you. Here, have a pound on me.
Scott: Thanks, Lou. We got sick of being the only kids who always stay home. Sometimes it feels like there’s a warehouse full of cash and we’re the only ones who don’t know about it.
Jack: You don’t know about the warehouse full of cash?
Louisa: Brilliant. It felt like my reward for all those years of depressing caravan holidays.
Scott: Me and Em are saving up for a caravan holiday. We both put a tenner in the jar whenever we’re paid.
Louisa: Good for you. Here, have a pound on me.
Scott: Thanks, Lou. We got sick of being the only kids who always stay home. Sometimes it feels like there’s a warehouse full of cash and we’re the only ones who don’t know about it.
Jack: You don’t know about the warehouse full of cash?
Bus LX
Louisa: Another year begins
Jack: I need to start taking the first day off. That way I’d skip the anecdotes. Last year Kurt Goldberg spent an hour telling me how he’d entered his dog into all these contests, and the dog never won even though his granny was one of the judges. Turned out she kept voting for the wrong dog.
Louisa: Anecdotes can be fun if you like the person
Jack: Yeah, but how often does that happen?
Jack: I need to start taking the first day off. That way I’d skip the anecdotes. Last year Kurt Goldberg spent an hour telling me how he’d entered his dog into all these contests, and the dog never won even though his granny was one of the judges. Turned out she kept voting for the wrong dog.
Louisa: Anecdotes can be fun if you like the person
Jack: Yeah, but how often does that happen?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)