Louisa: Be Christmas soon
Jack: Argh, don't remind me
Louisa: Not looking forward to it this year?
Jack: I never look forward to it. We've been friends for eleven months, and you don't know I hate Christmas?
Louisa: Was hoping you'd change your mind. How can anyone hate Christmas?
Jack: Well, hating things gets easier the more you do it
Bus CXII
Louisa: Did you hear what happened to Mr Halley?
Jack: Who's Mr Halley?
Louisa: Science teacher with the afro
Jack: Don't think I know him
Louisa: He comes to work on a skateboard
Jack: Not ringing any bells
Louisa: Well, he was covering for Miss Caesar yesterday
Jack: Who?
Louisa: You must know Miss Caesar. She has a peg leg. Anyway, Mr Halley decided to show the class a documentary, but he mixed up the discs and accidentally put on a porn film.
Jack: He showed his class porn?
Louisa: The worst part is he went to the toilet as soon as it started running, so it took him five minutes to come back and realise his mistake. By then Paula McIntosh had called her dad to ask some pertinent questions, and the damage was done.
Jack: Ha. Typical Paula.
Louisa: You don't know Paula either, do you?
Jack: Not as such
Louisa: Her dog played piano in assembly that time
Jack: I must've been sick that day
Jack: Who's Mr Halley?
Louisa: Science teacher with the afro
Jack: Don't think I know him
Louisa: He comes to work on a skateboard
Jack: Not ringing any bells
Louisa: Well, he was covering for Miss Caesar yesterday
Jack: Who?
Louisa: You must know Miss Caesar. She has a peg leg. Anyway, Mr Halley decided to show the class a documentary, but he mixed up the discs and accidentally put on a porn film.
Jack: He showed his class porn?
Louisa: The worst part is he went to the toilet as soon as it started running, so it took him five minutes to come back and realise his mistake. By then Paula McIntosh had called her dad to ask some pertinent questions, and the damage was done.
Jack: Ha. Typical Paula.
Louisa: You don't know Paula either, do you?
Jack: Not as such
Louisa: Her dog played piano in assembly that time
Jack: I must've been sick that day
Bus CXI
Jack: I saw your dad in Plumpton last night
Louisa: Oh yeah?
Jack: He was going into a flat up near the big roundabout with the flowers
Louisa: Yeah, a lot of his friends live up there
Jack: Must be really close friends. He had a key and everything.
Louisa: He's a friendly guy. And obviously he has a degree in floristry, so he probably likes being near the big flowers.
Jack: They're not big flowers. There's just a lot of them.
Louisa: Whatever
Jack: Okay, I'm not buying this for a second. Have you guys moved or something?
Louisa: You came round my house three days ago. No, two days ago.
Jack: It was four days ago
Louisa: If you must know, my parents are taking a little time apart. That's just where he's living at the moment.
Jack: Oh man, I wish my parents would do that
Louisa: You'd be welcome to it. I just wish my parents liked each other.
Jack: Well yeah, me too. But I've learned to be realistic.
Louisa: Oh yeah?
Jack: He was going into a flat up near the big roundabout with the flowers
Louisa: Yeah, a lot of his friends live up there
Jack: Must be really close friends. He had a key and everything.
Louisa: He's a friendly guy. And obviously he has a degree in floristry, so he probably likes being near the big flowers.
Jack: They're not big flowers. There's just a lot of them.
Louisa: Whatever
Jack: Okay, I'm not buying this for a second. Have you guys moved or something?
Louisa: You came round my house three days ago. No, two days ago.
Jack: It was four days ago
Louisa: If you must know, my parents are taking a little time apart. That's just where he's living at the moment.
Jack: Oh man, I wish my parents would do that
Louisa: You'd be welcome to it. I just wish my parents liked each other.
Jack: Well yeah, me too. But I've learned to be realistic.
Bus CX
Louisa coughs violently
Jack: Hey, are you okay?
Louisa: My head's on fire and I feel like I'm about to vomit
Jack: Some of us just call that Monday
Louisa: And these so-called cough sweets aren't working at all
Jack: Probably cos those are breath minths
Louisa: That's no excuse
Jack: Didn't you wonder why your breath was all minty?
Louisa: I thought it was another symptom
Jack: Hey, are you okay?
Louisa: My head's on fire and I feel like I'm about to vomit
Jack: Some of us just call that Monday
Louisa: And these so-called cough sweets aren't working at all
Jack: Probably cos those are breath minths
Louisa: That's no excuse
Jack: Didn't you wonder why your breath was all minty?
Louisa: I thought it was another symptom
Bus CIX
Louisa: Sorry about Lizzie
Jack: Huh?
Louisa: Oh. Nothing.
Jack: What is it?
Louisa: Well, I thought you must've heard. She's got a new boyfriend.
Jack: Oh, okay. I guess that's her business.
Louisa: Wow, I'm glad you're taking it so well
Jack: How did you expect me to take it?
Louisa: Major tantrum. Like your sister when they run out of strawberry ice cream.
Jack: Lizzie uses strawberry shampoo
Louisa: She really doesn't
Jack: Well, she would if her hair didn't naturally taste of strawberries
Louisa: You've tasted her hair?
Jack: Well, I tasted somebody's hair. So who's the lucky guy then? God, it's not Scott, is it? No wonder he hasn't been around much lately.
Louisa: No, Scott's still as lonely and unfulfilled as the rest of us. It's Ronnie Phelps.
Jack: What the fuck? I wish it was Scott. At least he can tie his own shoes.
Louisa: To be fair, Ronnie wears loafers now
Jack: Huh?
Louisa: Oh. Nothing.
Jack: What is it?
Louisa: Well, I thought you must've heard. She's got a new boyfriend.
Jack: Oh, okay. I guess that's her business.
Louisa: Wow, I'm glad you're taking it so well
Jack: How did you expect me to take it?
Louisa: Major tantrum. Like your sister when they run out of strawberry ice cream.
Jack: Lizzie uses strawberry shampoo
Louisa: She really doesn't
Jack: Well, she would if her hair didn't naturally taste of strawberries
Louisa: You've tasted her hair?
Jack: Well, I tasted somebody's hair. So who's the lucky guy then? God, it's not Scott, is it? No wonder he hasn't been around much lately.
Louisa: No, Scott's still as lonely and unfulfilled as the rest of us. It's Ronnie Phelps.
Jack: What the fuck? I wish it was Scott. At least he can tie his own shoes.
Louisa: To be fair, Ronnie wears loafers now
Bus CVIII
Jack: God, you're completely soaked
Louisa: Wow, really? I hadn't noticed.
Jack: Where's your coat?
Louisa: I hate coats
Jack: Yeah, all that warmth and dryness could piss anybody off
Louisa: For what it's worth, you piss me off even more
Scott: Guys, I think it's starting to rain
Louisa: Coats make me feel all fat and puffy. And then when it stops raining, I'm stuck dragging a wet, useless lump around with me all day.
Jack: And yet you have no problem hanging around with Scott. What about an umbrella then?
Louisa: They make my arms ache. All that holding.
Jack: So you just walk around getting soaked all the time like a moron?
Louisa: Pretty much
Louisa: Wow, really? I hadn't noticed.
Jack: Where's your coat?
Louisa: I hate coats
Jack: Yeah, all that warmth and dryness could piss anybody off
Louisa: For what it's worth, you piss me off even more
Scott: Guys, I think it's starting to rain
Louisa: Coats make me feel all fat and puffy. And then when it stops raining, I'm stuck dragging a wet, useless lump around with me all day.
Jack: And yet you have no problem hanging around with Scott. What about an umbrella then?
Louisa: They make my arms ache. All that holding.
Jack: So you just walk around getting soaked all the time like a moron?
Louisa: Pretty much
Bus CVII
Jack: It's weird to think we're all gonna die, isn't it
Louisa: I guess...
Jack: You don't think it's weird?
Louisa: I think it's weird that we're having this conversation just before Double Maths
Jack: Oh Lou-Lou, always with the witty punchline. You must fear death more than anyone.
Louisa: Why must I fear death more than anyone? I fear mice and clowns and helium balloons, but not death.
Jack: You fear helium balloons?
Louisa: They defy gravity. It's eerie.
Jack: Doesn't it bother you that one day, everything you know is just gonna end? No resolution. You'll just be gone.
Louisa: Well, I guess there's an upside if you get to see all your enemies die first
Jack: But what about if you die first?
Louisa: Then at least I don't have to live in the same world as my enemies
Jack: What about if you and your enemies all die at the same time, and you're stuck up in the afterlife together?
Louisa: Damn
Louisa: I guess...
Jack: You don't think it's weird?
Louisa: I think it's weird that we're having this conversation just before Double Maths
Jack: Oh Lou-Lou, always with the witty punchline. You must fear death more than anyone.
Louisa: Why must I fear death more than anyone? I fear mice and clowns and helium balloons, but not death.
Jack: You fear helium balloons?
Louisa: They defy gravity. It's eerie.
Jack: Doesn't it bother you that one day, everything you know is just gonna end? No resolution. You'll just be gone.
Louisa: Well, I guess there's an upside if you get to see all your enemies die first
Jack: But what about if you die first?
Louisa: Then at least I don't have to live in the same world as my enemies
Jack: What about if you and your enemies all die at the same time, and you're stuck up in the afterlife together?
Louisa: Damn
Bus CVI
Louisa: Have you guys got a costume for Halloween yet?
Jack: Yeah, I'm going as you
Louisa: That's nice. How about you, Scott?
Scott: Yeah, I'm going as Finkelstein
Louisa: Frankenstein?
Scott: No, Finkelstein
Louisa: Well, who's Finkelstein?
Scott: Just a guy who used to live next door to me
Louisa: Not very Halloweeny
Scott: Well, he had bolts in his neck
Jack: I remember him!
Louisa: What happened?
Scott: Oh, he moved away years ago
Louisa: No, I mean how did he end up with bolts in his neck?
Jack: Apparently there was an old unexploded bomb under his toolshed
Jack: Yeah, I'm going as you
Louisa: That's nice. How about you, Scott?
Scott: Yeah, I'm going as Finkelstein
Louisa: Frankenstein?
Scott: No, Finkelstein
Louisa: Well, who's Finkelstein?
Scott: Just a guy who used to live next door to me
Louisa: Not very Halloweeny
Scott: Well, he had bolts in his neck
Jack: I remember him!
Louisa: What happened?
Scott: Oh, he moved away years ago
Louisa: No, I mean how did he end up with bolts in his neck?
Jack: Apparently there was an old unexploded bomb under his toolshed
Bus CV
Louisa: Don't forget the clocks go back tonight
Scott: I'm not falling for that crap again after last year
Louisa: What happened last year?
Scott: I went to take my alarm clock back to where I'd bought it, and the shop wasn't even open at 2am
Scott: I'm not falling for that crap again after last year
Louisa: What happened last year?
Scott: I went to take my alarm clock back to where I'd bought it, and the shop wasn't even open at 2am
Bus CIV
Jack: These new shoes are killing me. Why didn't you talk me out of buying them?
Scott: Cos I wasn't there
Jack: That's your excuse for everything
Scott: Have you tried cutting holes in the sides?
Jack: Then they'd just be wet as well as tight
Louisa: Hey, some people would pay good money for that
Jack: I guess this is what I deserve for getting out of bed in the morning
Scott: Cos I wasn't there
Jack: That's your excuse for everything
Scott: Have you tried cutting holes in the sides?
Jack: Then they'd just be wet as well as tight
Louisa: Hey, some people would pay good money for that
Jack: I guess this is what I deserve for getting out of bed in the morning
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