Louisa: Hi
Jack: Do you ever feel like we’re devaluing words through overuse?
Louisa: I only said ‘hi’
Jack: No, seriously. There are some words I’ve heard so many times they don’t even seem to mean anything anymore.
Louisa: I guess I know what you mean. Jane Salter called me a Fascist the other day cos I wouldn’t share my muffin with her.
Jack: And people casually fill up silences with mindless small talk
Louisa: So you’re moving to abolish small talk?
Jack: Maybe we just need new words. Ones with fresh meanings.
Louisa: Okay. Instead of ‘okay’, from now on we’ll say...
Jack: ‘Tüd’
Louisa: Random, but I like it
Jack: ‘Like’ can be...’yipyip’
Louisa: Tüd. What’s ‘dislike’?
Jack: ‘Nipnip’
Louisa: Too much like ‘yes’ and ‘no’
Jack: You’re right. How about ‘boogoo’?
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need some variation on tüd. It’ll get boring to say the same word all the time.
Louisa: Boogoo
Jack: That’s ‘dislike’
Louisa: I know, I'm vetoing your idea. We need to take it 'fugfug' for now. If these first words work out, we can 'moomoo' more later.
Jack: Tüd. Next we should probably have some words for ‘I’ and ‘you’.
Louisa: ‘I’ can be ‘pim’
Jack: And ‘you’ can be ‘din’
Louisa: ‘Tüdtüd’
Jack: ‘Super-okay’?
Louisa: Seemed logical
Jack: ‘Pimtüd’. ‘I agree’.
Louisa: And ‘pimyip’ can be ‘I like’. This is going tüdtüd so far.
Jack: People will think we’re ‘hemhem’ though
Louisa: ‘Pimboogoo’ people
Jack: We need a word for ‘people’
Louisa: ‘Dindies’?
Jack: That would be ‘you people’. We need ‘those people’.
Louisa: ‘Rindies’?
Jack: ‘Pimyip rin’. ‘Those’ and ‘that’ can double up for the moment.
Louisa: Tüd
Jack: We need a word for ‘our’, ‘us’, and ‘we’
Louisa: ‘Bim’
Jack: Tüdtüd
Louisa: Since bim saying ‘word’ so often...
Jack: ‘Word’ can be ‘gerty’. And ‘sentence’ can be ‘sabgerty’.
Scott enters
Scott: Hey guys
Louisa: We don’t have a greeting-gerty
Jack: I didn’t think bim need to greet rindies anymore
Louisa: Our greeting can be ‘jovo’
Jack: Pimyip rin
Louisa: Jovo, Scott
Scott: Huh?
Louisa: Bim moomoo new gerties. ‘We’re making up new words’.
Scott: Why?
Jack: To add more meaning to our sentences. Or should I say, ‘bim sabgerties’.
Bus XCI
Jack: A school trip to the shopping centre. They must really be running out of ideas.
Louisa: Stop complaining, I got two new tops. Look, do you prefer the blue one or the green one?
Jack: The blue one reminds me of the sky
Louisa: Is that good?
Jack: Could be
Louisa: So you prefer the blue one?
Jack: Maybe. But then, the green one reminds me of a rolling field.
Louisa: So it’s a question of whether you prefer fields or sky?
Jack: Maybe
Louisa: In a way, the sky’s more democratic because everyone can experience it
Jack: Except blind people
Louisa: Yeah, but blind people can’t experience the field either
Jack: They can smell the grass
Louisa: C’mon, stop messing me around
Jack: Maybe you could cut squares out of one, and wear them both together
Louisa: Seriously, which do you prefer?
Jack: The green
Louisa: So you don’t like the blue?
Jack: I never said that
Louisa: Great, now I’ll have to take the blue one back. Thanks for nothing.
Louisa: Stop complaining, I got two new tops. Look, do you prefer the blue one or the green one?
Jack: The blue one reminds me of the sky
Louisa: Is that good?
Jack: Could be
Louisa: So you prefer the blue one?
Jack: Maybe. But then, the green one reminds me of a rolling field.
Louisa: So it’s a question of whether you prefer fields or sky?
Jack: Maybe
Louisa: In a way, the sky’s more democratic because everyone can experience it
Jack: Except blind people
Louisa: Yeah, but blind people can’t experience the field either
Jack: They can smell the grass
Louisa: C’mon, stop messing me around
Jack: Maybe you could cut squares out of one, and wear them both together
Louisa: Seriously, which do you prefer?
Jack: The green
Louisa: So you don’t like the blue?
Jack: I never said that
Louisa: Great, now I’ll have to take the blue one back. Thanks for nothing.
Bus XC
Jack: Red alert. Don’t come in tomorrow.
Louisa: Surprise Gym contest?
Jack: If my sources are correct
Scott: Why do some people have to turn everything into a contest? I hate that.
Jack: I hate it more
Louisa: Is it just me or are these contests getting more frequent too?
Scott: Definitely
Louisa: All part of the Head’s grand plan, I suppose. If she can keep the healthy kids distracted by adrenaline, and the unhealthy kids exhausted, nobody will notice when she sells our youth to Satan.
Jack: Over-dramatic, much? It’s just so the staff get a day off to sleep around.
Louisa: What about the Gym teachers?
Jack: They’re getting plenty already
Louisa: Surprise Gym contest?
Jack: If my sources are correct
Scott: Why do some people have to turn everything into a contest? I hate that.
Jack: I hate it more
Louisa: Is it just me or are these contests getting more frequent too?
Scott: Definitely
Louisa: All part of the Head’s grand plan, I suppose. If she can keep the healthy kids distracted by adrenaline, and the unhealthy kids exhausted, nobody will notice when she sells our youth to Satan.
Jack: Over-dramatic, much? It’s just so the staff get a day off to sleep around.
Louisa: What about the Gym teachers?
Jack: They’re getting plenty already
Bus LXXXIX
Jack is fingering a wad of cash
Louisa: Bank robbery?
Jack: Dead relative
Louisa: Why not give a little to charity? There’s so many people in need at this time of year.
Jack: So when you get money, you just give it away?
Louisa: Some. About a third, usually.
Jack: Like hell you do
Louisa: My principles are important to me
Jack: I’ll give you fifty to renounce your principles right now
Louisa: Never
Jack: A hundred, then
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Two hundred?
Louisa: Okay. I renounce my principles.
Jack hands over the money. Louisa stands up to leave.
Jack: Where are you going?
Louisa: I need to take this down to the homeless shelter before their evening rush
Louisa: Bank robbery?
Jack: Dead relative
Louisa: Why not give a little to charity? There’s so many people in need at this time of year.
Jack: So when you get money, you just give it away?
Louisa: Some. About a third, usually.
Jack: Like hell you do
Louisa: My principles are important to me
Jack: I’ll give you fifty to renounce your principles right now
Louisa: Never
Jack: A hundred, then
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Two hundred?
Louisa: Okay. I renounce my principles.
Jack hands over the money. Louisa stands up to leave.
Jack: Where are you going?
Louisa: I need to take this down to the homeless shelter before their evening rush
Bus LXXXVIII
Jack: It’s so cold today
Scott: Nope, my watch says it’s 11 Centigrade
Jack: There’s a thermometer in your watch? Since when do you even have a watch?
Scott: Got it for Christmas
Jack: Well, your sister should ask for her money back, cos it’s definitely lower than 11
Scott: Actually, you’re right. It's gone back down to 1. Must’ve been a cold gust of wind.
Scott: Nope, my watch says it’s 11 Centigrade
Jack: There’s a thermometer in your watch? Since when do you even have a watch?
Scott: Got it for Christmas
Jack: Well, your sister should ask for her money back, cos it’s definitely lower than 11
Scott: Actually, you’re right. It's gone back down to 1. Must’ve been a cold gust of wind.
Bus LXXXVII
Louisa: Did you hear Vicky’s saving up to buy Dave a car this year? And he’s put a deposit down on a flat for her.
Jack: Who’s Vicky?
Louisa: Vicky Phelps! Ronnie’s sister.
Jack: And who’s Dave?
Louisa: Don’t you know anything? They’re a couple. Well, they were. One year he gave her a toothbrush for her birthday so she said he was tight with money.
Jack: Why does everyone say that like it’s a bad thing?
Louisa: Anyway, then he bought her a really nice necklace out of spite, and said: ‘If you really loved me, you’d buy me something better than this’. So she bought him a games console, then he bought her a bike, and it carried on like that. They finally broke up a few months ago.
Jack: So why are they still buying the presents?
Louisa: Cos now they want each other back
Jack: Who’s Vicky?
Louisa: Vicky Phelps! Ronnie’s sister.
Jack: And who’s Dave?
Louisa: Don’t you know anything? They’re a couple. Well, they were. One year he gave her a toothbrush for her birthday so she said he was tight with money.
Jack: Why does everyone say that like it’s a bad thing?
Louisa: Anyway, then he bought her a really nice necklace out of spite, and said: ‘If you really loved me, you’d buy me something better than this’. So she bought him a games console, then he bought her a bike, and it carried on like that. They finally broke up a few months ago.
Jack: So why are they still buying the presents?
Louisa: Cos now they want each other back
Bus LXXXVI
Louisa: I hope you put some money in the charity bucket today
Jack: Mrs Hooper’s personal piggy-bank, you mean?
Louisa: That’s a horrible accusation
Jack: Have you never noticed how she gets a new phone every time there’s a charity bucket?
Louisa: She probably just treats herself because she feels good about how much money we raise
Jack: Keep telling yourself that
Louisa: You know what you are, Jack? You’re a cynic.
Jack: I don’t believe in that word
Jack: Mrs Hooper’s personal piggy-bank, you mean?
Louisa: That’s a horrible accusation
Jack: Have you never noticed how she gets a new phone every time there’s a charity bucket?
Louisa: She probably just treats herself because she feels good about how much money we raise
Jack: Keep telling yourself that
Louisa: You know what you are, Jack? You’re a cynic.
Jack: I don’t believe in that word
Bus LXXXV
Jack: You know, Lou-Lou, we’ve come a long way
Louisa: The bus is still parked
Jack: I mean spiritually. When you first started riding with us, I thought it’d only be a few days before you were back with the girly girls. But no, you stuck it out and now it feels like we’re almost friends.
Louisa (hurt): Almost?
Louisa: The bus is still parked
Jack: I mean spiritually. When you first started riding with us, I thought it’d only be a few days before you were back with the girly girls. But no, you stuck it out and now it feels like we’re almost friends.
Louisa (hurt): Almost?
Bus LXXXIV
Jack: God, I’m dying for a cigarette
Louisa: Never knew you smoked
Jack: Only when I’m stressed
Scott: You want one then? I’ve got a pack in my bag.
Jack: Yes please!
Louisa: You smoke too, Scott?
Scott: No, I just carry them for when people ask
Louisa: How often do they ask?
Scott: This is the first time
Louisa: Never knew you smoked
Jack: Only when I’m stressed
Scott: You want one then? I’ve got a pack in my bag.
Jack: Yes please!
Louisa: You smoke too, Scott?
Scott: No, I just carry them for when people ask
Louisa: How often do they ask?
Scott: This is the first time
Bus LXXXIII
Louisa: What’s your New Year’s Resolution?
Jack: I’m trying to be less critical. How about you?
Louisa: I’m gonna leave food out for the birds every day. They get so hungry.
Jack: That’s so lame. Couldn’t you think of anything better?
Jack: I’m trying to be less critical. How about you?
Louisa: I’m gonna leave food out for the birds every day. They get so hungry.
Jack: That’s so lame. Couldn’t you think of anything better?
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