Louisa: Thinking about getting a job
Jack: Big mistake, Lou-Lou
Louisa: It's a mistake to want to better myself?
Jack: Yes, but that's really a separate issue
Louisa: Work is good for the soul
Jack: Last week you said the same thing about muffins
Louisa: Well, the two things aren't mutually exclusive
Jack: Find yourself a job at a muffin factory, and you're all set
Bus CXVII
Jack: Did you see the school's got a new sponsor?
Louisa: I just finished writing an angry editorial about it for the Gazette
Jack: How can you write an editorial when you're not the editor?
Louisa: The question you ought to ask is how can it be appropriate for a school to get sponsored by a company that makes rifles
Jack: To be fair, they don't actually make rifles. Just rifle bullets.
Louisa: Oh, that's okay then!
Jack: If they didn't make the bullets, people would still own rifles. They'd just be hitting each other over the head with them or something.
Louisa: Well, that still sounds better than everyone shooting each other
Jack: Yeah, I guess it does. Didn't really think that one through.
Louisa: If we've gotta have a sponsor, it should at least be something in keeping with the character of the school
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno. Cheap cider or something.
Jack: Is that really any better than guns?
Louisa: A little bit, yeah. We already have a drinking problem at this school. We don't yet have a shooting problem.
Jack: Except heroin
Louisa: Well yeah, obviously
Jack: This is kind of a crappy school, isn't it
Louisa: I just finished writing an angry editorial about it for the Gazette
Jack: How can you write an editorial when you're not the editor?
Louisa: The question you ought to ask is how can it be appropriate for a school to get sponsored by a company that makes rifles
Jack: To be fair, they don't actually make rifles. Just rifle bullets.
Louisa: Oh, that's okay then!
Jack: If they didn't make the bullets, people would still own rifles. They'd just be hitting each other over the head with them or something.
Louisa: Well, that still sounds better than everyone shooting each other
Jack: Yeah, I guess it does. Didn't really think that one through.
Louisa: If we've gotta have a sponsor, it should at least be something in keeping with the character of the school
Jack: Like what?
Louisa: I dunno. Cheap cider or something.
Jack: Is that really any better than guns?
Louisa: A little bit, yeah. We already have a drinking problem at this school. We don't yet have a shooting problem.
Jack: Except heroin
Louisa: Well yeah, obviously
Jack: This is kind of a crappy school, isn't it
Bus CXVI
Jack: Fucking Phockford
Louisa: Huh?
Jack: Ronnie Phelps. Lizzie Rockford. Phockford.
Louisa: Clever
Jack: Why doesn't she like me?
Louisa: I really can't imagine. You're angry, bitter, cynical. Everything a teenage girl could want.
Jack: I just feel so empty
Louisa: You can share my sandwich if you want
Jack: Not that kind of empty
Louisa: Huh?
Jack: Ronnie Phelps. Lizzie Rockford. Phockford.
Louisa: Clever
Jack: Why doesn't she like me?
Louisa: I really can't imagine. You're angry, bitter, cynical. Everything a teenage girl could want.
Jack: I just feel so empty
Louisa: You can share my sandwich if you want
Jack: Not that kind of empty
Bus CXV
Louisa: Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?
Jack: Both
Louisa: You have to choose
Jack: Then neither
Louisa: What, you're too good for just one superpower?
Jack: What's the point of being able to fly if everyone can see me? It'd be ten minutes, tops, before I got declared a danger to national security and shot down by anti-aircraft guns.
Louisa: Okay, then forget about flight and just choose invisibility
Jack: That's no good either. If I can turn invisible but still have to walk everywhere, people will just keep bumping into me all the time.
Louisa: Fine, what power do you want? Totally free choice.
Jack: Selective hearing. I wanna be able to block out all the stupid things that people say to me.
Louisa: That's really lame
Jack: Yeah, but whenever people say it's lame, I'll just block them out
Louisa: Still lame
Jack: Alright, what would your power be then?
Louisa: I dunno. Maybe really good cooking skills. I always burn everything.
Jack: Cool. We could be a superhero tag team.
Louisa: Not much of a tag team. Somewhere there's a deaf chef who's got as much power as the two of us combined.
Jack: Both
Louisa: You have to choose
Jack: Then neither
Louisa: What, you're too good for just one superpower?
Jack: What's the point of being able to fly if everyone can see me? It'd be ten minutes, tops, before I got declared a danger to national security and shot down by anti-aircraft guns.
Louisa: Okay, then forget about flight and just choose invisibility
Jack: That's no good either. If I can turn invisible but still have to walk everywhere, people will just keep bumping into me all the time.
Louisa: Fine, what power do you want? Totally free choice.
Jack: Selective hearing. I wanna be able to block out all the stupid things that people say to me.
Louisa: That's really lame
Jack: Yeah, but whenever people say it's lame, I'll just block them out
Louisa: Still lame
Jack: Alright, what would your power be then?
Louisa: I dunno. Maybe really good cooking skills. I always burn everything.
Jack: Cool. We could be a superhero tag team.
Louisa: Not much of a tag team. Somewhere there's a deaf chef who's got as much power as the two of us combined.
Bus CXIV
Louisa: Has your sister found a new job yet?
Scott: Nope, she's had to start signing on
Louisa: Oh dear. Well, at least she's getting some money in.
Scott: I guess, but she's pretty down about the whole thing. It doesn't help that they made her jump through all these hoops to qualify.
Louisa: What kind of hoops?
Scott: Actual hoops. It was part of the Unemployed Sports Day.
Louisa: What's that?
Jack: It's a new government initiative to get the unemployed in shape for a future of manual labour. And they sell tickets to help fund the unemployment benefits.
Louisa: What, so a load of rich people can point and laugh?
Jack: It's mostly family members screaming and crying, but yeah. In theory.
Scott: Nope, she's had to start signing on
Louisa: Oh dear. Well, at least she's getting some money in.
Scott: I guess, but she's pretty down about the whole thing. It doesn't help that they made her jump through all these hoops to qualify.
Louisa: What kind of hoops?
Scott: Actual hoops. It was part of the Unemployed Sports Day.
Louisa: What's that?
Jack: It's a new government initiative to get the unemployed in shape for a future of manual labour. And they sell tickets to help fund the unemployment benefits.
Louisa: What, so a load of rich people can point and laugh?
Jack: It's mostly family members screaming and crying, but yeah. In theory.
Bus CXIII
Louisa: Be Christmas soon
Jack: Argh, don't remind me
Louisa: Not looking forward to it this year?
Jack: I never look forward to it. We've been friends for eleven months, and you don't know I hate Christmas?
Louisa: Was hoping you'd change your mind. How can anyone hate Christmas?
Jack: Well, hating things gets easier the more you do it
Jack: Argh, don't remind me
Louisa: Not looking forward to it this year?
Jack: I never look forward to it. We've been friends for eleven months, and you don't know I hate Christmas?
Louisa: Was hoping you'd change your mind. How can anyone hate Christmas?
Jack: Well, hating things gets easier the more you do it
Bus CXII
Louisa: Did you hear what happened to Mr Halley?
Jack: Who's Mr Halley?
Louisa: Science teacher with the afro
Jack: Don't think I know him
Louisa: He comes to work on a skateboard
Jack: Not ringing any bells
Louisa: Well, he was covering for Miss Caesar yesterday
Jack: Who?
Louisa: You must know Miss Caesar. She has a peg leg. Anyway, Mr Halley decided to show the class a documentary, but he mixed up the discs and accidentally put on a porn film.
Jack: He showed his class porn?
Louisa: The worst part is he went to the toilet as soon as it started running, so it took him five minutes to come back and realise his mistake. By then Paula McIntosh had called her dad to ask some pertinent questions, and the damage was done.
Jack: Ha. Typical Paula.
Louisa: You don't know Paula either, do you?
Jack: Not as such
Louisa: Her dog played piano in assembly that time
Jack: I must've been sick that day
Jack: Who's Mr Halley?
Louisa: Science teacher with the afro
Jack: Don't think I know him
Louisa: He comes to work on a skateboard
Jack: Not ringing any bells
Louisa: Well, he was covering for Miss Caesar yesterday
Jack: Who?
Louisa: You must know Miss Caesar. She has a peg leg. Anyway, Mr Halley decided to show the class a documentary, but he mixed up the discs and accidentally put on a porn film.
Jack: He showed his class porn?
Louisa: The worst part is he went to the toilet as soon as it started running, so it took him five minutes to come back and realise his mistake. By then Paula McIntosh had called her dad to ask some pertinent questions, and the damage was done.
Jack: Ha. Typical Paula.
Louisa: You don't know Paula either, do you?
Jack: Not as such
Louisa: Her dog played piano in assembly that time
Jack: I must've been sick that day
Bus CXI
Jack: I saw your dad in Plumpton last night
Louisa: Oh yeah?
Jack: He was going into a flat up near the big roundabout with the flowers
Louisa: Yeah, a lot of his friends live up there
Jack: Must be really close friends. He had a key and everything.
Louisa: He's a friendly guy. And obviously he has a degree in floristry, so he probably likes being near the big flowers.
Jack: They're not big flowers. There's just a lot of them.
Louisa: Whatever
Jack: Okay, I'm not buying this for a second. Have you guys moved or something?
Louisa: You came round my house three days ago. No, two days ago.
Jack: It was four days ago
Louisa: If you must know, my parents are taking a little time apart. That's just where he's living at the moment.
Jack: Oh man, I wish my parents would do that
Louisa: You'd be welcome to it. I just wish my parents liked each other.
Jack: Well yeah, me too. But I've learned to be realistic.
Louisa: Oh yeah?
Jack: He was going into a flat up near the big roundabout with the flowers
Louisa: Yeah, a lot of his friends live up there
Jack: Must be really close friends. He had a key and everything.
Louisa: He's a friendly guy. And obviously he has a degree in floristry, so he probably likes being near the big flowers.
Jack: They're not big flowers. There's just a lot of them.
Louisa: Whatever
Jack: Okay, I'm not buying this for a second. Have you guys moved or something?
Louisa: You came round my house three days ago. No, two days ago.
Jack: It was four days ago
Louisa: If you must know, my parents are taking a little time apart. That's just where he's living at the moment.
Jack: Oh man, I wish my parents would do that
Louisa: You'd be welcome to it. I just wish my parents liked each other.
Jack: Well yeah, me too. But I've learned to be realistic.
Bus CX
Louisa coughs violently
Jack: Hey, are you okay?
Louisa: My head's on fire and I feel like I'm about to vomit
Jack: Some of us just call that Monday
Louisa: And these so-called cough sweets aren't working at all
Jack: Probably cos those are breath minths
Louisa: That's no excuse
Jack: Didn't you wonder why your breath was all minty?
Louisa: I thought it was another symptom
Jack: Hey, are you okay?
Louisa: My head's on fire and I feel like I'm about to vomit
Jack: Some of us just call that Monday
Louisa: And these so-called cough sweets aren't working at all
Jack: Probably cos those are breath minths
Louisa: That's no excuse
Jack: Didn't you wonder why your breath was all minty?
Louisa: I thought it was another symptom
Bus CIX
Louisa: Sorry about Lizzie
Jack: Huh?
Louisa: Oh. Nothing.
Jack: What is it?
Louisa: Well, I thought you must've heard. She's got a new boyfriend.
Jack: Oh, okay. I guess that's her business.
Louisa: Wow, I'm glad you're taking it so well
Jack: How did you expect me to take it?
Louisa: Major tantrum. Like your sister when they run out of strawberry ice cream.
Jack: Lizzie uses strawberry shampoo
Louisa: She really doesn't
Jack: Well, she would if her hair didn't naturally taste of strawberries
Louisa: You've tasted her hair?
Jack: Well, I tasted somebody's hair. So who's the lucky guy then? God, it's not Scott, is it? No wonder he hasn't been around much lately.
Louisa: No, Scott's still as lonely and unfulfilled as the rest of us. It's Ronnie Phelps.
Jack: What the fuck? I wish it was Scott. At least he can tie his own shoes.
Louisa: To be fair, Ronnie wears loafers now
Jack: Huh?
Louisa: Oh. Nothing.
Jack: What is it?
Louisa: Well, I thought you must've heard. She's got a new boyfriend.
Jack: Oh, okay. I guess that's her business.
Louisa: Wow, I'm glad you're taking it so well
Jack: How did you expect me to take it?
Louisa: Major tantrum. Like your sister when they run out of strawberry ice cream.
Jack: Lizzie uses strawberry shampoo
Louisa: She really doesn't
Jack: Well, she would if her hair didn't naturally taste of strawberries
Louisa: You've tasted her hair?
Jack: Well, I tasted somebody's hair. So who's the lucky guy then? God, it's not Scott, is it? No wonder he hasn't been around much lately.
Louisa: No, Scott's still as lonely and unfulfilled as the rest of us. It's Ronnie Phelps.
Jack: What the fuck? I wish it was Scott. At least he can tie his own shoes.
Louisa: To be fair, Ronnie wears loafers now
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