Louisa: That donkey's coming in again tomorrow
Jack: What, the same donkey that turned on all the gas taps with its teeth?
Louisa: Yeah, and last week it broke into the PE block and ate all Willy Martin's clothes
Jack: Why the hell do they keep letting this demon donkey onto the grounds?
Louisa: Apparently the sanctuary insisted on a twenty-visit contract. They drive a hard bargain.
Bus XXVII
Louisa: Why're you on the late bus too?
Jack: Fell asleep in Art
Louisa: Oh, bad luck. Detention sucks.
Jack: Nah, nobody noticed so I just slept right through. Only woke up at all cos Mrs Fibonacci was coughing up blood so loudly in the sink.
Jack: Fell asleep in Art
Louisa: Oh, bad luck. Detention sucks.
Jack: Nah, nobody noticed so I just slept right through. Only woke up at all cos Mrs Fibonacci was coughing up blood so loudly in the sink.
Bus XXVI
Scott: Can we do something tonight? Just you and me?
Louisa: Are you asking me out?
Scott: No, I just don’t wanna stay in
Louisa: Cos of your mum being in that asylum?
Scott: Actually, I’m enjoying the place more without her. I reckon they should just give kids a house instead of parents. It’d be a much better system.
Louisa: Why not hang out with Jack?
Scott: No! He’s the problem!
Louisa: How come?
Scott: Ever since my mum left, he keeps randomly popping round. Says he doesn’t want me to feel lonely.
Louisa: Are you asking me out?
Scott: No, I just don’t wanna stay in
Louisa: Cos of your mum being in that asylum?
Scott: Actually, I’m enjoying the place more without her. I reckon they should just give kids a house instead of parents. It’d be a much better system.
Louisa: Why not hang out with Jack?
Scott: No! He’s the problem!
Louisa: How come?
Scott: Ever since my mum left, he keeps randomly popping round. Says he doesn’t want me to feel lonely.
Bus XXV
Louisa: Guess who I saw delivering papers down Scott's road the other day
Jack: Jesus?
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Buddha?
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Muhammad?
Louisa: Nope, you’re in the wrong area entirely
Jack: Vishnu?
Louisa: Why would any of these people be delivering papers? The correct answer is Lizzie Rockford.
Jack: Oh. Why are you telling me this?
Louisa: Because something tells me you’ll be holding your nose to set foot in Scott’s flat more often from now on
Jack: Jesus?
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Buddha?
Louisa: Nope
Jack: Muhammad?
Louisa: Nope, you’re in the wrong area entirely
Jack: Vishnu?
Louisa: Why would any of these people be delivering papers? The correct answer is Lizzie Rockford.
Jack: Oh. Why are you telling me this?
Louisa: Because something tells me you’ll be holding your nose to set foot in Scott’s flat more often from now on
Bus XXIV
Louisa: Oh wow, you got a laptop?
Jack: Nah, it’s my dad’s. I’m watching a movie on it.
Louisa: What movie?
Jack: I dunno, it’s just something he left in the tray. Started playing when I switched it on.
Louisa: Any good?
Jack: It’s alright. Bit gory.
Louisa: Budge up and let me watch too
Jack moves; Louisa stumbles awkwardly into the now-vacant seat
Louisa: Why’s that guy flying a helicopter upside down?
Jack: There’s some kind of magnet on the roof, pulling him down
Louisa: He’s gonna crash right into that baseball crowd
Jack: Nah, he’s turning on the turbo thrusters
Louisa: What are they?
Jack: I dunno, but the dentist mentioned them earlier
Louisa: The dentist?
Jack: He borrowed the helicopter from his dentist. They’re fighting this evil company who poisoned the President's dentures.
Louisa: So the President’s dead?
Jack: Nah, he hasn’t put them in his mouth yet...but he switches them over on the first day of every month...which is today...and the butler’s just started microwaving his morning curry
Louisa: The President has microwave curry for breakfast? What a stupid film.
Jack: Yeah, it is a bit crap
Both stare at the screen, transfixed
Jack: Nah, it’s my dad’s. I’m watching a movie on it.
Louisa: What movie?
Jack: I dunno, it’s just something he left in the tray. Started playing when I switched it on.
Louisa: Any good?
Jack: It’s alright. Bit gory.
Louisa: Budge up and let me watch too
Jack moves; Louisa stumbles awkwardly into the now-vacant seat
Louisa: Why’s that guy flying a helicopter upside down?
Jack: There’s some kind of magnet on the roof, pulling him down
Louisa: He’s gonna crash right into that baseball crowd
Jack: Nah, he’s turning on the turbo thrusters
Louisa: What are they?
Jack: I dunno, but the dentist mentioned them earlier
Louisa: The dentist?
Jack: He borrowed the helicopter from his dentist. They’re fighting this evil company who poisoned the President's dentures.
Louisa: So the President’s dead?
Jack: Nah, he hasn’t put them in his mouth yet...but he switches them over on the first day of every month...which is today...and the butler’s just started microwaving his morning curry
Louisa: The President has microwave curry for breakfast? What a stupid film.
Jack: Yeah, it is a bit crap
Both stare at the screen, transfixed
Bus XXIII
Louisa: Huge fight at the chess club last night
Jack: Anyone I know?
Louisa: Just some guys from Brooks Academy
Jack: I should start coming to the chess club again
Scott: One time my grandad spent ten days on a life-raft with another guy, waiting to be rescued, and all they did the whole time was play chess
Jack: He good then?
Scott: Only won one game
Jack: Better than none
Scott: Yeah, but it was only cos the other guy forfeited
Jack: Why’d he do that?
Scott: Grandad threatened to push him overboard
Jack: What a charming anecdote. I’ve never seen anyone beat Lou-Lou.
Scott: How’d you learn those skills?
Louisa: I used to eat this cereal that had chess tips on the back of the box. Loved that cereal.
Jack: Anyone I know?
Louisa: Just some guys from Brooks Academy
Jack: I should start coming to the chess club again
Scott: One time my grandad spent ten days on a life-raft with another guy, waiting to be rescued, and all they did the whole time was play chess
Jack: He good then?
Scott: Only won one game
Jack: Better than none
Scott: Yeah, but it was only cos the other guy forfeited
Jack: Why’d he do that?
Scott: Grandad threatened to push him overboard
Jack: What a charming anecdote. I’ve never seen anyone beat Lou-Lou.
Scott: How’d you learn those skills?
Louisa: I used to eat this cereal that had chess tips on the back of the box. Loved that cereal.
Bus XXII
Jack: Wanna get an ice cream in town?
Louisa: Nah, I’d better not. Too expensive.
Jack: You sure?
Louisa: Yeah, I just wanna go home and cry
Jack: How come?
Louisa: It’s Ms Pappus. Every week she does these lame impressions of celebrities, and she gives you a detention if you don’t laugh.
Jack: That’s a shame. We’ve got Mr Thales. He’s pretty fun. Did a quiz last week.
Louisa: Oh man, that sounds great
Jack: Yeah, it was alright. My group would’ve won if it wasn’t for Scott.
Louisa: What did he do?
Jack: Shouted out that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. Before we’d even had time to confer.
Louisa: Who was he then?
Jack: He invented Communism!
Louisa: Oh. I’ve never been too sure what Communism is, to be honest.
Jack: It’s just this thing about how we’re all exploited by our bosses because we do all the work but they make all the money
Louisa: What’s so great about that? Anyone could think up that. Ronnie Phelps could think up that.
Jack: Ronnie Phelps can’t even tie his shoes. Anyway, there’s more. Marx said one day we’re all going to kill our bosses and share the money out equally.
Louisa: Wow, that sounds pretty good. I dunno if I could kill my boss though.
Jack: Well, you’re only part-time. The full-time workers will do the killing. You’ll just have to spit on the corpse or something.
Louisa: When’s this gonna happen then?
Jack: I dunno, but Marx said it’s inevitable, so we just have to sit around and wait
Louisa: I hope it doesn’t take too long
Jack: Well he predicted it, like, two hundred years ago
Louisa: Two hundred years ago? And it hasn’t happened yet? What if it never happens?
Jack: I’m sure it will eventually
Louisa: Yeah, in another two hundred years! God, I feel depressed now. I was all ready for this wonderful future and now it might not even happen.
Jack: Sorry
Louisa: It’s not your fault. Just this stupid world. Let’s get that ice cream after all.
Jack: What about the money?
Louisa: Ah, fuck the money. In fact, let’s get a whole tub. I need cheering up.
Louisa: Nah, I’d better not. Too expensive.
Jack: You sure?
Louisa: Yeah, I just wanna go home and cry
Jack: How come?
Louisa: It’s Ms Pappus. Every week she does these lame impressions of celebrities, and she gives you a detention if you don’t laugh.
Jack: That’s a shame. We’ve got Mr Thales. He’s pretty fun. Did a quiz last week.
Louisa: Oh man, that sounds great
Jack: Yeah, it was alright. My group would’ve won if it wasn’t for Scott.
Louisa: What did he do?
Jack: Shouted out that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. Before we’d even had time to confer.
Louisa: Who was he then?
Jack: He invented Communism!
Louisa: Oh. I’ve never been too sure what Communism is, to be honest.
Jack: It’s just this thing about how we’re all exploited by our bosses because we do all the work but they make all the money
Louisa: What’s so great about that? Anyone could think up that. Ronnie Phelps could think up that.
Jack: Ronnie Phelps can’t even tie his shoes. Anyway, there’s more. Marx said one day we’re all going to kill our bosses and share the money out equally.
Louisa: Wow, that sounds pretty good. I dunno if I could kill my boss though.
Jack: Well, you’re only part-time. The full-time workers will do the killing. You’ll just have to spit on the corpse or something.
Louisa: When’s this gonna happen then?
Jack: I dunno, but Marx said it’s inevitable, so we just have to sit around and wait
Louisa: I hope it doesn’t take too long
Jack: Well he predicted it, like, two hundred years ago
Louisa: Two hundred years ago? And it hasn’t happened yet? What if it never happens?
Jack: I’m sure it will eventually
Louisa: Yeah, in another two hundred years! God, I feel depressed now. I was all ready for this wonderful future and now it might not even happen.
Jack: Sorry
Louisa: It’s not your fault. Just this stupid world. Let’s get that ice cream after all.
Jack: What about the money?
Louisa: Ah, fuck the money. In fact, let’s get a whole tub. I need cheering up.
Bus XXI
Louisa: Your mum found a job yet?
Scott: Nope
Louisa: How’s she coping?
Scott: Well, she’s drinking a lot...
Louisa: Oh dear
Scott: And the other night she wanted to stick her head in the gas oven
Jack: You still have a gas oven?
Louisa: Oh my God! Did you talk her out of it?
Scott: No, but I was baking a pie...so she had to wait ‘til it was done. And by then that dancing show she likes had come on.
Louisa: Phew
Scott: So yeah, a happy ending
Scott: Nope
Louisa: How’s she coping?
Scott: Well, she’s drinking a lot...
Louisa: Oh dear
Scott: And the other night she wanted to stick her head in the gas oven
Jack: You still have a gas oven?
Louisa: Oh my God! Did you talk her out of it?
Scott: No, but I was baking a pie...so she had to wait ‘til it was done. And by then that dancing show she likes had come on.
Louisa: Phew
Scott: So yeah, a happy ending
Bus XX
Louisa: So, I’m going to New York this summer
Jack: You already told us
Scott: Didn’t tell me
Louisa: It’ll be my first time on a plane
Scott: Oh no, don’t go by plane. They’re all gonna start crashing soon.
Louisa: What?
Scott: Yeah, I read this thing once about how the statistics say that way more planes should be crashing. Soon they’ll all be dropping out of the sky, to even it out.
Jack: That doesn’t sound right...
Scott: You can’t argue with statistics
Jack: You already told us
Scott: Didn’t tell me
Louisa: It’ll be my first time on a plane
Scott: Oh no, don’t go by plane. They’re all gonna start crashing soon.
Louisa: What?
Scott: Yeah, I read this thing once about how the statistics say that way more planes should be crashing. Soon they’ll all be dropping out of the sky, to even it out.
Jack: That doesn’t sound right...
Scott: You can’t argue with statistics
Bus XIX
Jack: Unseasonably warm today, methinks
Louisa: 'Methinks'? You're not Hamlet.
Jack: Would that I were
Louisa: 'Methinks'? You're not Hamlet.
Jack: Would that I were
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